Breaking the Stigma of Being Blackmailed
Have you ever received a message that appears to be threatening in nature stating that unless you pay a certain amount of money your compromising photos or information about you will be made public? If you do, you’re hardly alone.
Blackmail and extortion are unfortunately common crimes that have victims feeling ashamed and hopeless. There is also a stigma around being blackmailed, which can stop people from getting help.
The fact is, anyone can be blackmailed. The material in question isn’t always scandalous, or shameful.
This is a common tactic of blackmailers to demand payment through use of false material. You did not do anything to warrant this treatment.
You can find a lot of help out there. With the right support, you can heal. In this blog, we are going to be discussing the truth behind blackmail and how to deal with it healthily.
Blackmail Dials Up Feelings of Shame and Isolation
The initial rush of emotion is typically fear and shame, when those threatening messages demanding money appear. You may wonder:
What will my family, friends, or employer think if this gets out?
Will I be judged and embarrassed?
How could I have let this happen?
These reactions are normal. Blackmail exploits our fears of exposure or humiliation.
You might feel pressured to simply make the demands and pray the situation disappears. But blackmailers typically just keep asking for more money, and may still release the material later.
Giving in to extortion again plays into the false narrative that you are hiding something. It allows the criminal to keep profiting off your misery.
Blackmail Can Happen to Anyone
And of course anyone can be blackmailed today.
We all fill the internet with details of our lives through social media and digital communication. It is so easy for criminals to gather personal information and twist it into blackmail.
Some points to remember:
· The content or the allegation might not even be real. Blackmailers frequently use faked materials and accounts. Assume nothing they’re claiming is authentic.
· Even if the content is real, you have a right to privacy. Just because you have private photos, conversations, or information that could be revealed, does not mean you deserve to be blackmailed.
· Anyone who has a presence online can be targeted. The blackmailer was probably casting messages to lots of different people, hoping some might bend to the demands.
Another person's criminal act is not a reflection of you — do not hate yourself for it. Blackmail works by creating feelings of embarrassment and helplessness. Acknowledge those feelings, but do not accept them as the truth.
Blackmail Is Never OK, Even If You Cheated on Your Spouse
There is a myth that someone who engages in behavior like sharing intimate photos or conversations is “asking for it” and that leads to blackmail.
This is false. Everyone has a right to privacy. Just because something is private doesn’t mean it’s an invitation to blackmail anyone.
Even if you directly gave the blackmailer a picture or information, they are still 100% in the wrong by threatening you and demanding money. Do not accept victim blaming attitudes.
Seek Out Non-judgmental Sources of Support
The stigma around blackmail victims prevents many of them from seeking help. The shame feels overwhelming.
However, you are not alone in dealing with this. There are numerous compassionate, professional sources of support available.
Begin by writing or contacting a close friend or family member you trust. Just having one person that believes and listens to you can make all the difference. Lean on your friends and family for emotional support
You may also contact legal and law enforcement resources. They can guide you in safely responding to the blackmailer, documenting the harassment and beginning the healing process.
Some options to consider:
· In your area, call a confidential legal helpline to learn your options
· How to report it to law enforcement. Most departments today employ cybercrime specialists.
· Talk to a counselor or therapist who specializes in privacy violations and trauma
· Research victim advocate organizations, which can provide resources and referrals
· Hire legal counsel
You have rights. You deserve justice. The blackmailer wants you to think that you’re alone and you should be ashamed, but help is available.
With the appropriate support, you can get back to security, face the blackmailer, and resolve this safely. Do not lose hope.
Final Thoughts
Holding someone up for blackmail is one of the violent forms of violation of privacy. It engenders fear and shame. But you are not alone.
This crime can be committed against anyone. And the content in question might not even exist. You did not do anything to deserve threats and harassment.
It is vital to seek non-judgemental legal and emotional support. With some help, you can document this behavior, cease contact with the blackmailer and start to heal.
